Good people, know this once and for all: all those who stage a coup do so to retain power. Not to restore democracy and give power to someone else following an election. In the last century, there were some enlightened people who made coups and organized elections in the process without running for office, or who were candidates and defeated, but that's over now. From now on, we are making a coup d'Etat to keep power. The longest time possible. Even if someone else sent you to do it for him, we now apply the maxim of the famous Ivorian philosopher Gbagbo of Mama: “when we send you, you have to know how to send you."
That being said, how to manage his coup to retain power? Once the coup is done, you have to say quickly that you are not interested in power, that you made the coup to put an end to corruption, mismanagement, dictatorship, insecurity, to liberate Africa, etc In our countries, the motives for a coup d'Etat are not lacking. It must be said quickly to have the support of the popular mass which always complains about governance, whatever it is, and especially to have that of the political opposition which naively believes that someone will one day organize elections for them leave power. If you are in a French-speaking country (lately it is in French-speaking countries that we make coups), say “down with France! “I am a pan-Africanist! while waving a Russian flag. It mobilizes crowds. Make the opposition believe that you are going to organize elections that they will win. It will support you all the more easily as you put those you have overthrown in prison. The opposition will believe you are clearing the ground for them. Of course you will suffer the condemnations of the international community. They will be more or less virulent depending on whether you have a good tutor or not. Keep your back, because in any case the sanctions only hit the population. You will be asked to organize the elections as soon as possible. Promise. But say that there are so many things to settle in the country (fight against insecurity, against corruption, against tribalism, revision of the constitution, of the electoral list, population census, counting children's teeth, etc) that you need at least five years to be able to organize elections. The international community will of course refuse, but you will discuss. You will drag things out, by organizing a forum, a conference, or a sovereign national dialogue preceded by a pre-forum, several preparatory meetings, and if you know how to maneuver, you will gain a year quietly like that. This will have given you time to properly fill an offshore account.
Then you will tackle the adoption of the new constitution. In general the constitution has nothing to do with the case but it saves time. And take out a lot of money. It is necessary that Junior, your son, has his apartment in Europe or in Canada. Then you will go to the census and the electoral code. In the meantime, your sovereign national forum or dialogue, which you have taken care to infiltrate with people who are well paid with the people's money, and which you have dragged on for months, is delivering its conclusions: you are sovereignly authorized to lead the transition for two years, renewable even if you want. The people are sovereign. And as you are a citizen like the others, you will be able to present yourself in the presidential elections that you will organize. And the two-year-olds, you can race them from the coming January first.
Meanwhile, the opposition, which has understood the trick, begins to show its bad mood in the streets. You then have the choice between forming a government in which you put all their leaders, and they leave you alone, as it is true that we do not speak with our mouths full, or choosing one of them, the one who has the longest in the opposition, to lead the government. That way, he'll be the one to take the blame for your failures and future mistakes. He will appeal to his friends, leaving other opponents by the wayside. When many of us share a meal, the portions are small. And then there are always very stubborn radical opponents who want it all or nothing. They will continue to demonstrate, say that you are taking power, stealing money as if it is for them, and things like that. Keep your cool.
You can hit them from time to time with truncheons, but never, ever shoot them with live ammunition. If they're really nasty that you have to shoot them, do it in moderation. One or two dead is fine, but not fifty, or a hundred, or more. No, no, it's not happening anymore. If you shoot into the heap, you will need to be sure of the power of your tutor. If you are taken for a wacky, like Dadis Camara, you risk taking a bullet in the head and ending up in court later. But if you are the son of the tutor's great friend who has become yours too, because it seems your country is very strategic, you may have a chance to get by.
By Venance Konan
*This article has been translated from French into English by Marcus Boni Teiga
